Grey Book Reflection
An addict who does not want to stop using will not stop using. They can be beaten, locked up or whatever; but they won't stop using until they want to.
Gray Book, p. 97 (Tradition Three, Lines 18-22)
Our Third Tradition tells us that Desire is the basis of our Recovery. Without the Desire to stop using, we are doomed.
When we first arrived at Narcotics Anonymous, we just wanted to stop hurting. Most of us were sick and tired of being tired and sick. Some of us came in through the direction of the law enforcement, and some of us were directed by our families or jobs. Either way, after a while, if we weren't here for ourselves we didn't stay.
The pain, for us, had to reach a point that we were Willing to Surrender. We first Surrendered to the disease that means we had to accept we had a disease. We then Surrender to the Solution, the Spiritual Principles of Narcotics Anonymous.
In the past addicts were put in jail hoping they would stop using; it didn't work, as soon as the addict was released, they returned to using again. Addicts were given medication hoping that the addict would lose the desire to use drugs. Some addicts were told to try religion, in hope they would find God and stop using drugs. None of these methods that we tried worked for us.
What worked for us was an Honest Desire, originating in our Hearts, not our minds to stop using. Our hopelessness is what brings us to Narcotics Anonymous. Hope is what keeps us here.
Narcotics Anonymous, for most of us, was the last house on the block. That Desire had to turn to desperation for us to first come here, and then to stay.
We had to be completely beaten by the disease of addiction, for us to submit. When we finally Surrendered, we were Willing to try a different way. Finally, we found a New Way To Live, a Life we never ever could have conceived of.
Welcome to Narcotics Anonymous.
We will keep our doors open, Just For Today we will fan the flames of Desire for the suffering addict coming in.