January 4

For most of us, active addiction filled us with shame, guilt and remorse. Partially because of some things we had to do to obtain our drugs. We walked with our heads down in shame.

We didn't look up because that meant we would have to acknowledge God, symbolically anyway. We didn't look straight ahead because we might have caught someone's eyes looking at us. We stopped looking people straight in the eyes because we felt they might see our guilt and shame. We knew deep down inside that we weren't right, but we were powerless.

After arriving to Narcotics Anonymous and getting Clean, we saw we weren't alone. We met members that suffered and felt like us. They hugged us, looked in our eyes, and they told us that we didn't have to suffer anymore.

We felt an Empathy that we never knew existed, we always thought and felt we were alone. With the help of our Sponsors, working Steps and God, our shame and guilt were lifted. Our Fifth Step revealed that we were only human with a disease. For the first time in a very long time, we could look another person in the eyes and feel a part of.

Our Eighth and Ninth Steps provided a way out of that shame and guilt. We were given the opportunity to Amend our past. We are now able to walk with our heads held high.

We are able not only to look people in the eyes, but even look up to our God with Humility.