Grey Book Reflection
We became very dependent on people to carry us emotionally through life. We were always left disappointed and hurt when they had other interests, other friends and loved ones.
Gray Book, p. 2 (Chapter One, Lines 12-15)
Most addicts could not hit bottom as long as their enablers kept enabling them to use. Just like the Pirate who carefully and patiently builds the model of a ship inside a bottle, we addicts carefully and overtime built our lives inside of addiction. At the end of the road, we were stuck, we couldn't get out. Our greatest enablers, families, friends, employers, and landlords, began to be affected by our addiction.
Our families loved us, but began to show tough Love. Our romantic partners wanted someone different as a partner, so they left us. Jobs that we were so loyal to, throughout our employment, were now finding other employees to replace us.
We couldn't help feeling betrayed, especially at our greatest time of need. We were Emotionally and Spiritually bankrupt and our denial was so thick that we couldn't understand why they were doing this to us. We didn't realize that we were sick, and we were doing this to ourselves. Our illusions like that bottle had to be shattered to begin the re-construction.
We became hopeless and in desperation we sought help from each other in Narcotics Anonymous. After arriving to N.A. we were told that we suffered from a disease and not a moral dilemma. We were told that although we weren't responsible for having this disease, we were Accountable for our Actions and Responsible for our Recovery.
Learning to Live with Spiritual Principles we can now see the damage and wreckage we caused while we were using. Our resentments against our enablers turned to Gratitude. We saw the value in their Actions.
Living the Steps, we are transformed to different people.
We start to Build our ships outside of our addiction.
We will be Grateful for the people who no longer enable us and begin to make Amends to them all.