September 5

Before Narcotics Anonymous existed, many addicts died from the horrors of addiction. Chapter Eight in our Basic Text talks about the end of the road for many of us. This is where our Surrender starts, without this Surrender there is no Hope.

Many of us went to the bitter ends, and few of us were fortunate enough to find ourselves in Narcotics Anonymous. Many times we have asked ourselves; "what is wrong with me?" Everything we tried to better ourselves and our lives failed. Most of the time it seemed to make things worse.

Every time we stopped using drugs; we found ourselves returning to using. The inner turmoil and pain we experienced without drugs made us look for a Solution. We searched everywhere for that Solution, for a problem we didn't even understand.

Coming into N.A., we were told that we have a disease, not a moral dilemma. Even though we knew we were sick and needed help, we could go back to find our old and familiar ways; trying to obtain the comfort, we once knew. We have a disease that is incurable, progressive, and terminal.

If the drugs didn't kill us, we will do the jobs ourselves; this is our self-destructive personality. When we fully Accepted the fact that we could not Live with or without drugs the Solution appears. We knew we belonged in NA, when we met people just like us who were trapped in our own self-imposed prisons. These same people now seem to be Free of using drugs and Free of the selfbondage that kept us going back to using time after time.

They told us that we were Home, and that they found a way out. The suggestions that they gave us were Free, the ones we would have to pay for were the ones we didn't take. Together with these other members we were able to get Clean.

We were able to stay Clean that day and apply Spiritual Principles to arrest the disease for that day. We were told that it was an I disease, followed by a dying program; to a We Solution, followed by a Living Program. We are given a Daily Reprieve from the horrors of addiction.

That Reprieve depended on Daily Maintenance of our Spirits. By staying and working the Steps we were able to Live with this disease, instead of dying from it.

We Recover from addiction, just for that day. With the help of our Program, fellow addicts and our Higher Power, we never have to use again.