Grey Book Reflection
When we finally get our own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace unmatchable to a drug-induced high.
Gray Book, p. 58 (Step Eleven, Lines 6-8)
Our Literature tells us that once the euphoria of using wore off, we saw the ugly side of addiction. For many of us, we lost that good feeling of getting high a long time ago. Toward the end of our using, we either suffered the pain of withdrawals, or we took more drugs.
Many of us took more drugs. We no longer used drugs, drugs used us.
Coming to Narcotics Anonymous and Achieving and Maintaining Total and Complete Abstinence, it left us with a void. Our Basic Text tells us that the purpose of the Second Step was to fill that void. Unfortunately many members attempted to fill that void with other things instead of our Higher Power. These other things used to fill the God Void, including illegal drugs and prescribed medication, caused others and us more pain.
Our motives were selfish, our motives had motives. Finally, when the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of changing, we took the necessary Steps to relieve our obsessions. Practicing Spiritual Principles left us feeling good about ourselves and others.
Working Steps and Traditions with our Sponsors, being of Service to Narcotics Anonymous, we found a different type of euphoria. Sharing this Precious Gift with others and thinking of others resulted in a peace unmatchable to any drug-induced high we ever experienced. We no longer needed people, places or things to feel good about ourselves. We sought self-approval and not the approval of others.
We begin to Stand and Live by Spiritual Principles. The only way to get out of self, is to work with others.
We will Practice selflessness. We are actually doing God's Will by getting our selfish motives out of the way.