May 16

When we first arrived to Narcotics Anonymous, we were told that the only thing we had to change was everything. This statement scared most of us, after all, we had built our whole lives around addiction. Our wills were accompanied by our defects of character.

Our defects were the tools of the disease, they were our survival skills. The first defect to go, was our use of drugs.

Recovery was not possible unless we got Clean first. Total and Complete Abstinence was foreign to us, and we didn't think it was possible.

Our Second Step was the Solution to the void Step One left. When our obsession was lifted we gained Hope, that anything was possible. However, these defects were part of us, and we wondered what would we become if we let them go.

This hesitation kept us sick, we were still acting out. Many were still smoking cigarettes, which was ultimately hurting us. Some of us were acting out sexually, blocking ourselves and others from recovering.

Some of us were still stealing and being dishonest in our interactions with others. We had to hit bottom with these parts of ourselves, before we were Willing to ask for Help. We Pray to our Higher Power, who Helped us get Clean, to Help us with this other stuff.

As we Progress in the Steps, we see that each Step requires a deeper Surrender. Freedom is our ultimate goal, Freedom from drugs, Freedom to choose our own Higher Power. Freedom from self, others, and the world at large. When we clear the wreckage that's in the God Of Our Understanding's way, that Power can work in our Lives. As we Pray and ask for Power to carry out God's Will for us, we see God's Will is what we wanted for ourselves all along. Who wouldn't want Health, the means to make a Living, or a Family or Mate to share our Lives.