Grey Book Reflection
A warning about rationalization is that it has killed more of us than anything else. At times, our motives will be obscured by clouded thinking.
Gray Book, p. 57 (Step Ten, Lines 1-3)
Our Literature tells us, "What we knew about living when we got here had almost killed us. " Arriving to Narcotics Anonymous and seeing the mess we made of our lives only caused us to rationalize even more. We blamed the drugs to make sense of it all. In active addiction, we found ourselves defending our actions, constantly explaining ourselves.
Many times we thought these explanations were what the other person wanted to hear. We justified our behaviors in order to protect our using. This quickly moved us into a pattern of lies and self-deception.
This pattern became our lifestyle. We found ourselves immersed in a life of deceit and rationalization.
After achieving Abstinence, we saw how sick we really were, especially without the drugs. These old defense mechanisms were the tools of the disease of addiction. These rationalizations served us well in active addiction.
In our Recovery, we learn to get Honest. We learn to face the Truth.
With each Step we take and live, the onion gets peeled another layer. We help each other by becoming each other's eyes and ears. Our Literature says, "We began to see that we had rationalized the most outrageous sort of nonsense " This can still follow us in our Recovery. The Fruits of Living the Spiritual Principles releases us from denial.
We Surrender our Wills and Lives to the Care of the God Of Our Understanding. We are no longer part of the problem, because we're part of the Solution.
As we find ourselves Growing into mature consciousness, it becomes more uncomfortable to ration a lie.